Fiction    

Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

 Home
 TidBits
 BLong
   Source
     GBuffy
     Mutt
     ClearSilver
     Python
     PyApache
   PalmOS Tools  

From: unknown
Subject: The 10 DOS Commandments

The 10 DOS Commandments

  1. I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut of the profits therefrom.

  2. Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack.

  3. Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that much space anyway.

  4. Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all, it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other things that might make thy computer useful.

  5. Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that character is located on a computer keyboard is right out.

  6. Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust is not allowed. [ Oops, I have sinned. Kim ]

  7. Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible with things created in the latter half of this century. But you can still run WordStar 1.0.

  8. Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe four years ago regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he stands over you demanding proof.

  9. Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of the directory tree, either.

  10. Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

 

 

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer

Copyright (C) 2009 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved.
blong@fiction.net / Terms of Service