Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

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From: unknown
Subject: Internet Addiction

You Know You're an Internet Addict When...

  • You find yourself typing 'com' after every period when using a word
  • You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  • Your start introducing yourself as 'John at I-I-Net dot com.'
  • Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
  • All of your friends have an @ in their name.
  • You can't call your mother - she doesn't have a modem.
  • Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
  • You laugh at people with 2400 modems.
  • You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
  • You refer to going to the bathroom as [downloading].
  • You tell the cab driver you live at: http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
  • Your spouse makes a new rule: 'The computer cannot come to bed.'
  • You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode
  • You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-). #:-(
  • You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.
  • Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat..."

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.



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