Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

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From Robin (ubcgs7l at
Created by Laura Lemay, Killer of Trees (lemay at

Top ten html extensions that did not make it into netscape 1.0N*

  1. <WIRED>...</WIRED>
    Renders the enclosed text in Sturm und Drang 374 Medium Bold Condensed, in light purple on a neon orange background. Tells you repeatedly how cool you are for using netscape.
  2. <ROACH>....</ROACH>
    When selected, the enclosed text runs and hides under the nearest window. OR, giggles a lot and demands nachos, depending on your definition of "roach." (the formal definition, of course, to be determined by the Official Honorary Internet Standards Committee For Moving Really Slowly.)
  3. <KILL_SGML>
    Should anyone foolish enough to think that HTML is still SGML and try and run a netscape-html document through an SGML editor, processor, or other tool, this tag causes an immediate core dump, erases anything on your disk with "DTD" in the name, and emails a randomly-selected insult to Tim Pierce.
    Inserts "zippyisms" into the enclosed text. Perfect for those professional documents.
  5. <SECRET>....</SECRET>
    In order to read the enclosed text, you have to have secret spy decoder glasses (available direct from Mcom for a reasonable fee).
    You can also read it by holding your computer in front of a full moon during the autumn solstice.
  6. <HYPE>
    Causes Marc Andreesen to magically appear and grant you an interview (whether you want one or not).
    Please use this tag sparingly.
  7. <PEEK>....</PEEK>
  8. <POKE>...</POKE>
    So you want more control over screen layout in HTML? Well, here ya go.
    Summons the elder gods to suck away your immortal soul. Or Bill Gates, if the elder gods are busy.
    Unpredictable (but amusing) results occur when the <YOGSOTHOTH> and <HYPE> tags are used in close proximity.
  10. <BLINK>...</BLINK>
    Causes the enclosed text to....
    ooops, that one made it in.
*because they ran out of beer.
© 1994 Laura Lemay. (htmlized by Robin. With netscape extensions).

For more of Robin's Rambling, check out curiosities

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

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