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From: unknown
Subject: Virus Humor

Guide to Computer Viruses

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS
Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS
You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BILL CLINTON VIRUS
Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS
Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
Never identifies itself as a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism"

ROSS PEROT VIRUS
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits

COLIN POWELL VIRUS
Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS
You're in L.A. but your data winds up in Dallas

HEALTH CARE VIRUS
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500

PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe can't figyour outt watt!

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer

GALLUP VIRUS
Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data, 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error)

TEXAS VIRUS
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS
The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

PBS VIRUS
Your programs stop every few minutes and ask for money

NIKE VIRUS
Just does it

STAR TREK VIRUS
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

 

 

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The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer

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