A Fake Internet Presence,
Subject: Virus Humor
Guide to Computer Viruses
- HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS
- Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a
year later in another directory
- O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS
- You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you
just can't prove it.
- BILL CLINTON VIRUS
- Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all
your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts
your entire system for four years
- PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS
- Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about
- POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
- Never identifies itself as a "virus" but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism"
- ROSS PEROT VIRUS
- Activates every component in your system, just before the
whole thing quits
- COLIN POWELL VIRUS
- Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything.
Secretly, you wish it would.
- AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS
- You're in L.A. but your data winds up in Dallas
- HEALTH CARE VIRUS
- Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and
sends you a bill for $4,500
- PAUL REVERE VIRUS
- This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.
- DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
- Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe can't
figyour outt watt!
- FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
- Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim
to be the most important part of your computer
- GALLUP VIRUS
- Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of
their data, 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error)
- TEXAS VIRUS
- Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file
- ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
- Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple
- CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS
- The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half
with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The
message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
- PBS VIRUS
- Your programs stop every few minutes and ask for money
- NIKE VIRUS
- Just does it
- STAR TREK VIRUS
- Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via
email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who
forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.