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Subject: The Ford Bronco (fwd)

Special News Release From Ford

As of Friday June 24,1994 the 1994 Ford Bronco has officially been selected as the vehicle of choice for all felons in the United States.

The conclusive California road test, as seen on national TV, proved without a doubt that the 1994 Bronco can successfully hold off 15 or more police cars, 3 police helicopters and the entire population of the united states for more than an hour and a half, while never exceeding 48 miles per hour. This vehicle showed that it could also maintain similar performance standards while parked in the driveway of your residence.

If you are a felon, then we have a special deal for you on a brand new 1994 Ford Bronco.

Just go to your local Ford dealer and ask for the "OJ package". This specially equipped Bronco comes with a .38 caliber pistol, twenty five rounds of ammunition, blood resistant upholstery, cellular phone with speed dialing for 911 calls, a former famous football player blow-up doll, and a high powered, well qualified lawyer who will greet you when you arrive home.

Picture yourself leaning comfortably back in your seat listening to the gentle swirl of helicopter blades and police cars purring.

If you act now, we will also throw in the package the magical disappearing GINZU (TM) knife at no extra charge.

Be the first one on your block to own the 1994 Ford limited "OJ Edition" Bronco.

See Your Local Dealer Now !!!!!!!!!!!

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

 

 

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The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer

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