Fiction    

Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

 Home
 TidBits
 BLong
   Source
     GBuffy
     Mutt
     ClearSilver
     Python
     PyApache
   PalmOS Tools  

From: unknown
Subject: Things you DON'T want to hear while on the operating room table

Things you DON'T want to hear while on the operating room table

  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
  • Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness
  • Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
  • Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • Damn, there go the lights again...
  • Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
  • What's this doing here?
  • I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
  • That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
  • What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
  • Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • What do you mean "You want a divorce"?!?
  • She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
  • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
  • Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

 

 

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer

Copyright (C) 2009 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved.
blong@fiction.net / Terms of Service