Fiction L
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From: unknown
Subject: What your car says about you


    Acura Integra         - I have always wanted to own the Buick of
                             sports cars
    Acura Legend          - I'm too bland for German cars
    Acura NSX             - I am impotent
    Audi 90               - I enjoy putting out engine fires
    Buick Park Avenue     - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
    Cadillac Eldorado     - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
    Cadillac Seville      - I am a pimp
    Chevrolet Camaro      - I enjoy beating up people
    Chevrolet Chevette    - I like seeing people's reactions when I
                             tell them I have a 'Vette
    Chevrolet Corvette    - I'm in a mid-life crisis
    Chevrolet El Camino   - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
    Chrysler Cordoba      - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
    Datsun 280Z           - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
    Dodge Dart            - I teach third grade special education and
                             I voted for Eisenhower
    Dodge Daytona         - I delivered pizza for four years to get
                             this car
    Ford Fairmont         - (See Dodge Dart)
    Ford Mustang          - I slow down to 85 in school zones
    Ford Crown Victoria   - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and
                             change lanes when I pull up behind them
    Geo Storm             - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
    Geo Tracker           - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
    Honda del Sol         - I have always said, half a convertible is
                             better than no convertible at all
    Honda Civic           - I have just graduated and have no credit
    Honda Accord          - I lack any originality and am basically a
    Infiniti Q45          - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
    Isuzu Impulse         - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or
                             his reports.
    Jaguar XJ6            - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that
                             is in the shop 280 days per year.
    Kia Sephia            - I learned nothing from the failure of
                             Daihatsu Corp.
    Lincoln Town Car      - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
    Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
    Mercedes 500SL        - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
    Mercedes 560SEL       - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son
                             named Cole
    Mazda Miata           - I do not fear being decapitated by an
    MGB                   - I am dating a mechanic
    Mitsubishi Diamante   - I don't know what it means either
    Nissan 300ZX          - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
    Oldsmobile Cutlass    - I just stole this car and I'm going to
                            make a fortune off the parts
    Peugeot 505 Diesel    - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
    Plymouth Neon         - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
    Pontiac Trans AM      - I have a switchblade in my sock
    Porsche 944           - I am dating big haired women that otherwise
                             would be inaccessible to me
    Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too
    Saturn SC2            - (See Honda Civic)
    Subaru Legacy         - I have always wanted a Japanese car even
                                     more inferior than Isuzu
    Toyota Camry          - I am still in the closet
    Volkswagon Beetle     - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
    Volkswagon Cabriolet  - I am out of the closet
    Volkswagon Microbus   - I am tripping right now
    Volvo 740 Wagon       - I am frightened of my wife

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

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