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From: adam at cs.caltech.edu (I Find Karma)
Subject: How cold is it? An annotated thermometer...

This MUST have been written by a patriotic Canadian...

HOW COLD IS IT?

An annotated thermometer

(degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius)

+50 / +10
  * New York tenants turn on the heat
  * Wisconsinites plant gardens

+40 / +4
  * Californians shiver uncontrollably
  * Canadians sunbathe

+35 / +2
  * Italian cars don't start

+32 / 0
  * Distilled water freezes

+30 / -1
  * You can see your breath
  * You plan a vacation in Florida
  * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
  * Wisconsinites eat ice cream

+25 / -4
  * Boston water freezes
  * Californians weep pitiably
  * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

+20 / -7
  * Cleveland water freezes
  * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
  * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts

+15 / -10
  * You plan a vacation in Acapulco
  * Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
  * Wisconsinites go swimming

+10 / -12
  * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
  * Too cold to snow
  * You need jumper cables to get the car going

0 / -18
  * New York landlords turn on the heat
  * Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!

-5 / -21
  * You can hear your breath
  * You plan a vacation in Hawaii

-10 / -23
  * American cars don't start
  * Too cold to skate

-15 / -26
  * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
  * Miamians cease to exist
  * Canadians lick flagpoles

-20 / -29
  * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
  * Politicians actually do something about the homeless
  * People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens

-25 / -32
  * Too cold to kiss
  * You need jumper cables to get the driver going
  * Japanese cars don't start
  * Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training

-30 / -34
  * You plan a two-week hot bath
  * Pilsener freezes
  * Bock beer production begins
  * Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof

-38 / -39
  * Mercury freezes
  * Too cold to think
  * Canadians button top button

-40 / -40
  * Californians disappear
  * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
  * Wisconsinites put on sweaters

-50 / -46
  * Congressional hot air freezes
  * Alaskans close the bathroom window
  * Green Bay Packers practice indoors

-60 / -51
  * Walruses abandon Aleutians
  * Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
  * Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
  * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-70 / -57
  * Glaciers in Central Park
  * Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
  * Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie

-80 / -62
  * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
  * Rhinelander Birkebeiner
  * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-90 / -68
  * Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
  * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
  * Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer

-100 / -73
  * Santa Claus abandons North Pole
  * Canadians pull down earflaps

-173 / -114
  * Ethyl alcohol freezes
  * Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans

-297 / -183
  * Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
  * Microbial life survives only on dairy products

-445 / -265
  * Superconductivity

-452 / -269
  * Helium becomes a liquid

-454 / -270
  * Hell freezes over

-456 /-271
  * Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

-458 / -272
  * Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
  * All atomic motion ceases
  * Canadians allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy.

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.


Copyright (C) 2009 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved.
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