Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

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From: unknown
Subject: Psychiatric Hotline

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have Multiple Personalities, please press 3,4,5,and 6.
If you are Paranoid-Delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

Copyright (C) 2009 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved. / Terms of Service

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer.
I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone.
Well, except my own company, but that's gone now.