Love Boat Enterprise --------- ---------- Bald Captain Bald Captain Black Bartender Black Bartender Young Vicki is related to a Young Wesley is related to a crewmember crewmember and works on the ship and works on the ship Ship's doctor is a main character Ship's doctor is a main character Julie the cruise director is sexy Troi the ship's councelor is sexy but but annoying annoying Actors stand in front of screen, Actors stand in front of screen, upon which is projected background upon which is projected background of open sea of open space A dumping ground for second-rate A dumping ground for second-rate washed-up guest stars washed-up guest stars Going to strange new ports-of-call Going to strange new worlds Cheesy opening song Cheesy opening song Too many scenes of self-indulgent Too many scenes of self-indulgent crap in the lounge crap in the holodeck Socially retarded character with Socially retarded character with job description for name (Gopher) job description for name (Data) In late-night syndication In late-night syndication Bad 2-hour pilot Bad 2-hour pilot Love Boat has lifeboats and Enterprise has shuttlecrafts and flotation devices detaching saucer section Scenes linked by ship shots Scenes linked by ship shots One character inexplicably replaced, One character inexplicably replaced, then returned (Julie) then returned (Crusher) After-the-fact bed scenes with After-the-fact bed scenes with pointless discussion pointless discussion Captain straightens uniform when Captain straightens uniform when disgusted/angry/nervous disgusted/angry/nervous Final scene takes place on loading Final scene takes place on transporter; dock; crew waves goodbye crew waves goodbye Aaron Spelling rules with iron fist, Gene Roddenberry rules with iron fist, annoying die-hard fans annoying die-hard fans At conventions, everyone is dressed At conventions, everyone is dressed like Dr. Adam Bricker like Mr. Spock Isaac the Bartender has useless Captain Picard has useless gesture, gesture, pointing slightly forward pointing slightly forward Intercrew friction always resolved Intercrew friction always resolved within allotted 1 hour time slot within allotted 1 hour time slot
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