Found this collection, amassed in a period of a few weeks and ditifuly edited by Bob, in alt.gothic. Currently they're working on the logical follow-up: Gothic split-up lines.
I post this every now and then. I thot I'd do it now....
Many of these are from non-goth guys. Because they tend to be the most amusing. . .
13) You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend. 12) Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime? 11) I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway. 10) Is that your boyfriend? I think you can do better than that! (some poser from Ottawa with New York City attitude) 9) So, are you a catholic? (non-goth) 8) So, are you a satanist? (goth) 7) So, are you a goth? (neither) 6) How do you get your hair to do that? / Can you cut my hair like that? 5) Oh, yeah, [band name] is really great. . . I have all their rare stuff. You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want. 4) You look a lot like. . .[choose one: Winona Ryder, Siouxsie Sioux, Morticia, Elvira, Robert Smith, Edward Scissorhands] To which you should answer: No, actually, he/she/it looks a lot like me. 3) I keep all of my most important poems and drawings in this little book. And I'd like you to have it because they're mostly about you. (Really cute, lovesick 18 year old goth boy) 2) Greetings... [bows deeply, tips hat]. I'm Bob. And the Drumroll please..... The award for most hilarious attempted pick-up of a goth chyck goes to this frat boy: 1) "Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick. And if I don't get one soon, they won't let me pledge... So, if you're not busy, could you come with me to the rush party tonight?? I'd really appreciate it." Christa Starr akasha at athena.mit.edu 1."What does net.goth mean? Hey, are you, like, into that computer stuff?" 2."So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund." 3."Hi. My name is ****, and I'm a vampire, but only on alternate Wednesdays." 4.But my favorite of all time had to be when someone walked up to me and started singing the "Creepy Girl" song from Mystery Science Theater 3000.... Arnold Friend spiggy at netcom.com 1.So you're a girl huh? 2.Do you like food? 3.Do you like music? 4.Shhhhhhhhhh...... Don't tell anyone but I'm a vampire. Shhhhhhh.... No really. and I'm 4000 years old. Really. but now I live in the valley with my mom. 5.Hey you! You in the black! 6.Wait...... the cure.. right? 7.yeah I know the singer. 8.I just wanted to tell you I think you dance really well. It's like when you are out there it's like you don't care what anybody thinks. 9.Are you gay? 10.Don't you hate it when people ask you if you are gay! 11.Remember when this club was cool....? you know before everyone I used to hang out with like got jobs or moved out of thier parents house? Some of them have actually worked. Sad, no? Neon Samurai neon.samurai at tde.com 1.Worship me! 2.what lovely eyes you have... I used to have some *just like them*. 3.Aren't you (insert gothic-y singer here)? 4.Didn't I go to your funeral? (for humorous goths only! Many do not like this...) Kerry Smith eliasny at netcom.com Well, not being one to respond enthusiastically to overtly sexual come-ons, but trying to find some common topic of interest, the following "lines" have worked on me. 1."Pardon me, but my corset has come unlaced. Could you tighten it for me?" Footnote: Generally asking a man for any kind of assistance makes him feel needed, and appreciated: the key to any type of relationship 2."Have you heard of this band before?" (at shows, or record stores) 3."Although you seem content, you also seem quite alone over here. Can I interrupt your reverie?" 4."Hi, aren't you [insert any ficticiuos name here]?" Chris mk42+ at andrew.cmu.edu The ones I prefer are the one's women who picked me up would use... 1.Did you know you look just like Clint Ruin (aka Jim Thilwell)? 2.If your cheekbones were any higher they'd need warning lights. 3.I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down. 4.Would you please come home with me and tie me up... 5.And my all time favorite was at this party. I had just shown up and this foot gothic amazon goddess came up to me and said... "You're mine" and walked away. 3 hours later she came up to me and said "Let's go". I didn't get out of her house for four days. I couldn't walk right for another three. It was a good week... John Evans lgas at cs.umd.edu 1."Blow me if I'm wrong, but you wanna fuck me." 2."That's a fabulous black corsett and it goes great with those boots, but they would both look better on the floor next to my bed." 3."Wanna go for a ride in my porsche? It's black..." 4."Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your affection?" Voron LANGSDORFJE96%CS36 at cadetmail.usafa.af.mil 1."Say something to scare me." 2."I wanted to get your name before one of us dies." 3."Hi, my name's [insert name], what's yours? (*that* one does wonders.) 4."You're a cadet, right? what the hell are you doing here? I didn't know any of you had lifes...." Joe Brenner doom at kzsu.Stanford.EDU 1."Hey, I'm looking for a second girlfriend. How about you?" 2."Know any places to buy Absinthe around here?" 3."What's your favorite Baudelaire poem?" 4."I bet you don't own a CD player, either." 5."Hey, do you know Joe Radio?" Charles Taylor ctaylor at alioth.cc.nps.navy.mil Here's a few that have worked on me*: 1."Hello" (used on me once or twice with positive results) 2."Didn't I see you here last week?" 3."Want a drink? I brewed it myself." (it was mead, it was an SCA event) 4."You know, I always though you deserved better [than your ex]" (I had just broken up with her best friend\employee,I was sad, depressed, lonely) 5."Do you know how to turn on the lights of a mercury?" (it was a rental, (the car, not the girl :-) )) Steve Benesko steveb at io.org 1.Did you know that you have enough tissue on the inside of your lungs to wallpaper the entire room? 2.I love your hair, it's black as tires....... 3.Should I buy you a beer now, or wait until after we fuck?? 4.Would you like to see my vasectomy scar? 5.Didn't we meet in a previous life? 6.Is that blood, or wine that your having? 7.Can I bum a clove? 8.Is that a rat on your shoulder, or are you just glad to see me? 9.Are you male or female??? (does it matter?) 10.I want to (krunk) you like an animal.... 11.Are those [nails/piercings/fangs] real or are they fake? 12.Do you have anything *else* pierced??? (slutty inflection) 13.Once you go black, you never come back... Abstract Blue wernberg at sciborg.uwaterloo.ca 1.'Do you want to see my stone collection' (it is a variant of the stamp collection' Belive me or not, it is still working. If you don't have any stones, then use your skulls, SM-equipment, eyeliners, poems or Sandman trade card (yuk)) 2.After I had been travelling for a while, I came to a city after a long drive. I was dirty, unshaved and tired... I parked the car, walked around a corner and saw a girl. I said something like: 'I am lost here, will you help me out' and she did :) Lauren Goodlad lgoodlad at u.washington.edu 1."Why don't we go somewhere where you and I can talk?" * 2."I think you should take me somewhere"* 3."I'm really sorry for staring at you. But I just got back from the Bahamas..."* 4."You must all be sisters, right?"*
RANDOM LINES"I fancy your neck." Chris Burdorf burdorf at cauchy.rand.org "That's a nice neck - mind if I bite it??" Michael Watkin wombat at desire.apana.org.au "We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck."* petro at mcs.com "Hey babe, whats with the teardrop thing?"* Laurissa tmc141 at jester.usask.ca "By the way, are you 23?" Dina Celeste Birrell dinab at leland.Stanford.EDU "Would you mind very much if I burned out your eyes with a laser?" Rare Blood busbyhea at owlnet.rice.edu "Shall we go back to my place and do all the things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway?" Anton prenna at goya.its.rpi.edu "Roses are red, tulips are not, do you wanna go home with me and fuck?" Abstract Blue wernberg at sciborg.uwaterloo.ca "Excuse me, young lady. Could I ask you, were we tortured and then burned at the stake as Agnostic Cathar Heretics by the Spanish Inquisition during intimately linked previous lives in the early 12th century?" * Valerian bss119 at clss1.bangor.ac.uk "I just wanted to tell you I love the way you dance." * "So, are you ever going to talk to me, or were you just going to continue to stare?" * jC jc at apple.com "Hi. Are you cute?" The Wailer at the Gates of Dawn banshee at cats.ucsc.edu "If you swoon at my booted feet, I'll buy you a drink" David Carson s3022352 at titanic.mqcs.mq.oz.au "You have the academic look that I lust after." * "Nice scalp, wanna fuck?" Ronald Carrier rcarrier at casbah.acns.nwu.edu "Hey, is that a *really* long black liner in your pocket or do you carry your own brand of black current all of the time?" Shawnee sss2n at Virginia.EDU "What do you think of me? Because I know I want to kiss you right now." * Literati literati at ux1.cso.uiuc.edu "Are you here alone, or will someone have to retain your affections over my dead body?" Tox tox at isr.harvard.edu "If I don't speak to you now, Tamara will break both of my legs!" Count Von Sexbat sexbat at batt.demon.co.uk "Hi. I like you. I have money. Come home with me." John McCluskey jrmcclus at magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu "Nice boots, wanna meaningful relationship?" Midnight gopher at bnr.ca "You sure move fast for a little boy/girl"* xmal xmald at aol.com "Go out with me or I'll kill us both." Rebecca Harris rh3j+ at andrew.cmu.edu "You've stolen my heart away. Luckily, I've got another three or four in the freezer." Eric Dobratz ez041475 at rocky.ucdavis.edu "I can't believe you have a girlfriend/boyfriend you seem so complete by yourself. Plus you seem to intense for anyone to handle, except maybe me." (This can be followed by an optional "grrrruf") brian john mitchell BM12504 at CONRAD.APPSTATE.EDU "Can I have your belt? It is for my collection..." Ph0ebus ph0ebus at aol.com "You should come home with me. We match."* Marina Black marina at passport.ca "I'm bored. Entertain me and I'll buy you a beer."* Chris mk42+ at andrew.cmu.edu "Wow. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh." * Anson "Dr. Doom" Davis afdavis at student.wisc.edu "Hey! You two are pretty hot for a couple of dead chicks!" * "You know, I can still have sex up until the eighth month" Midnight rossd at cpsc.ucalgary.ca "Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?" duVivier gairns at ccrs.emr.ca "What? Do you want one of us to come over there and bite you or something?" oddlystrange mac4jak at cabell.vcu.edu "if I was *going* to sleep with a heroin addict it would definitely be you."* Alison Gorbould agorboul at uoguelph.ca "What do you think of the principles of Sacred Geometry with respect to Gothic Architecture?"* Jana Wright ophelie at fungusaur.wizards.com "No, no, no... what's your *real* name?" Raven hhysun at cayley.uwaterloo.ca Hey, that's a really great costume -- you guys always wear such great costumes."* Gomez blemieux at nyx10.cs.du.edu "Your calf muscles fall within acceptable parameters. Wanna fuck?" Kevin O' Gorman spidey at maths.tcd.ie "You have incredible legs... would you mind if I took them home with me?"* Exile exile at mcs.com "Do you think it's too forward to ask for someone's phone number in a [insert odd place here (club or bar might not work)]?" * Voron LANGSDORFJE96%CS36 at cadetmail.usafa.af.mil "Why don't we get some ice cream and go to your apartment and read alt.gothic together....?" * anonymous "I can tell you want to do me." J. Eric Townsend jet at genmagic.com "I don't think that I could get to sleep with an elephant gun slug in my chest! Want to go to a [insert appropriate meeting place here] after this place closes?" grAe grae at industry.org "I thought you loked familiar, are you the singer from Curve?" oddlystrange mac4jak at cabell.vcu.edu
Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via
email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.